Im feeling unloved because love is my fear?

I remember my first crush. Shelly, grade 3. Beautiful swept back long hair, gorgeous green eyes, and her laugh was just adorable. I bought her a chocolate heart and was nervous about giving it to her. So I gave it to the person behind her, Hayden, and he gave it to her. She thought it was from Hayden, and HE didn't correct her! Why are people so mean? In the end, they fell for each other as hard as any 8 yr old could fall for another 8 yr old. I just gave up the chance until this years valentine. This girl, who I've crushed on for 4 years, decided to break my heart the meanest way possible, by shredding up my 2 page poem I wrote, pouring out my love and fathom to her. Seems like I was the laughing stock of the school. I moved to home school to stop further embarrasment. Just because I'm shy, sweet and very sensitive, doesn't give anyone a right to hurt anyone's feelings like that. THE END. Now, my new crush, why should I give the last bit of my heart left if there's a chance she's going to rip it :'(