PLEASE CHECK MY GRAMMAR! 7TH GRADE!?

on a scale of 1-4 I would give you a 3. The essay is well put together. My only opinion (FYI I'm a History/English Major) would be that you over used commas. Try not to use commas to extend your sentences or thoughts, it tends to drag out your essay and make it to wordy. You have very few grammatical (grammar) errors, and if you are doing this for educational reasons and not school, try to challenge yourself. Have a parent, sibling, older friend, or even someone on here suggest a topic that requires research, you will learn essay format and english structure better.